PASSING THE TEST
As parents we are tested all through the years as we raise our children. Once they grow up and leave the proverbial nest you would think we have gone through all the testing stages. In truth the stages of parenting never end, rather they evolve into something new and exciting.
In our children’s early years we instill beliefs, morals, respect, integrity and decision making skills. We teach our children to be strong, determined, self-reliant, knowing right from wrong and so much more. We watch over them guiding them, hurting for them when they hurt, giving them free advice and sharing with them lessons we’ve learned through the mistakes we’ve made, hoping they won’t make the same mistakes themselves.
After the nurturing years, where we had a say in where they went, what they did and who with, comes the time we have to step back and trust in all the lessons we have imparted to them hoping that they were paying attention. I believe this is the greatest test of all. Learning to trust ourselves as parents who have equipped our children with all the tools they will need to make it on their own. This is the final test, but this test is a lifelong test.
It now seems as though our children are testing us in allowing them their freedom to be successful without our input. It’s a time we have to let them find their way, making their own mistakes as they go. The hard part is keeping our thoughts, opinions and advice to ourselves.
We watch them make plans for their future, career choices, life choices, large purchases and even marriage, but for some reason we have this notion that we are the only ones who see all angles. Maybe they don’t see the angles we see, but we still have to trust in them and their own wisdom.
I’m going through a time where I have so much input to give, yet I am keeping mum. I have always promised myself I will only give our children advice when they ask for it. This has become an understanding between us. They know we are here for them at any time if they should request our input. They also know if they ask, they will get a good dose of advice.
That brings us to the trust issue again. Do we trust in our parenting skills enough to keep our thoughts to ourselves knowing that we have done a good job in raising our kids to be intelligent responsible adults? Not only do we have to trust in the job we have done but we also must trust in our children to use the tools we have equipped them with. It boils down to a simple case of respect for each other.
The question now is.. Do you have enough respect for yourself as a parent, and have enough respect for your child as an adult to take that step back and sit in the bleachers and just watch the game?