UNLOCKING BITTERNESS
At one time or another we've all had our feelings hurt. When we are hurt by someone we love that pain is deeper. From those feelings of hurt we allow bitterness to enter. When that happens we have automatically put up a wall to hinder our ability to love. We allow those hurts the power to turn into bitterness if we hold on the them. Instead, take a moment to consider the hurt, giving yourself time to digest these feelings and then we need to let them go. The only way to do that is through forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the key that will unlock the door of bitterness. This very key also has the power to set your heart free to love again. Unfortunately life is full of pain, hurts and disappointments. They are a part of life that none of us is exempt from. It's sounds pretty dreadful but have no fear because you can learn to rise above it.
Bitterness is dangerous to a healthy happy existence. Having a bitter attitude will drain away the very vitality of your life, allowing the unhappiness to eat at you like a cancer. Bitterness has the power to destroy lives, families, marriages and friendships. Thankfully there is a cure for this disease - simply forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not come easy to many of us but it's something we can all learn that will bring us above the hurts and disappointments of life. Forgiveness can melt the hardest hearts and pave the way to reconciliation if used properly.
There are two steps we need to follow when we feel offended and need to forgive. The first is telling the offender how they've made you feel. Not a verbal blast but by making an honest statement. Telling them sincerely and gently in the same way you would want someone to rebuke you. They may not even be aware they have offended you. Let them know by simply telling them you were offended. The second step is (if/when) they change their mind, forgive them. The goal to any rebuke is reconciliation. The best time is at the moment. Do not give this offence time to fester. Deal with it and move on. You will both be happier. It does take an enormous amount of maturity and respect in yourself and them to give or receive any rebuke with the right attitude.
The actual root of an unforgiving spirit is selfishness. Selfish people are the most easily offended. They believe the entire world revolves around them making them quick to anger thereby justifying their unforgiving attitude. There are many excuses we tell ourselves why we don't forgive.
Anger - I'm just too upset to forgive. I've been hurt too deeply.
Revenge - He doesn't deserve forgiveness.
Fear/Worry - If I forgive they will just thinks it's okay and hurt me again.
Pride - He was wrong, I was right.
Emotion - I don't feel like forgiving.
Guilt - I can't even forgive myself, how can I possibly for them? I can't forgive means you won't forgive.
Truly forgiving will lighten your heart and set you free. Forgiving is something we all need to do for our own betterment. We are the ones who suffer when we have an unforgiving heart. In the same way we need to ask for forgiveness, admitting when we've failed and make the corrections needed to put this burden to rest.
Sometimes granting forgiveness is harder then asking for it. We all need to develop a forgiving heart by being willing to forgive again and again until it becomes a habit.