THE ROLE MODEL IN YOU
As parents we have many responsibilities. None as important as shaping our children’s outlook and attitudes toward life as we do, through being good role models. In the world around us there are so many influences that will affect our children< but the strongest influence of all, is the example we, as their parents set before them. These examples, our children will replicate throughout their lives as they grow. That is an awesome responsibility for us, not to mention privilege.
From the very beginning our children learn through watching and imitating the examples we set before their young impressionable minds. It’s up to us to demonstrate positive behavior by making healthy, responsible decisions. Children are less likely to pick up bad habits from their peers and even other adults when they see good decision making at home. It’s good to include your children in family decision making, so they learn the process. Always keep in mind their age and level of understanding when introducing options.
A simple example would be: Let’s say you have $100. You can involve your children as to what they think it should be used for. Perhaps an upcoming trip, possibly save it for a rainy day or whatever ideas they may come up with. Once the decision is made then we look at the options and possible outcome. Try playing the “What if” game. It’s a great teaching tool I’ve used many times and it’s fun.
Think of the phrase “I want to grow up and be just like Mom or Dad.” In that simple context it’s cute, but if you digest those words to their deeper meaning, what they imply is quite scary. That is a ton of responsibility we have. I think the most important role model we are, is in our relationships with others, especially with each other as parents. Are your actions and attitudes towards each other the ones you want your children to replicate in their own relationships? Think about that for a moment. Mom and Dad are the very foundation of security for a child. You need to demonstrate a positive relationship between you, giving your children that sense of security we all desire and need.
There are so many simple ways you can do this. Say “I love you”, cuddle, hand holding, resting you hand on their thigh, smiles, gentle touches, kind words, patience with each other, forgiveness in action not just words, settling conflicts without raised voices, avoid the silent treatment and on and on. Then there are the general relationships that will also influence your children in how they interact with others. Be honest, be forgiving, apologize when necessary, be a good listener, be encouraging and complimentary and this list goes on as well.
I believe demonstrating a good relationship and interaction with others are the most important for children to learn. You cannot pretend to have a good marriage. It’s not possible. If you think you can you are sorely underestimating your children. Children are far more intuitive then we often give them credit for. No marriage is perfect so let your children witness your progress in making it as close to it as you can. It’s important for your kids to know that you actually like each other.
Physical demonstrations of love between parents is a wonderful way to help your children feel secure and that mom and dad are doing OK. Put a little love into everything you do.