ROOTS N' WINGS
The two most important things we as parents give our children are roots and wings. Producing healthy roots comes first. It's essential that we establish a solid foundation for our children to grow in, learn in, develop in and even discover who they are. Not only do we provide our children's physical needs but their emotional needs as well.
All of these things - clothing, food, love, understanding, respect and security, will ready them for their wings. As in a plant, a solid root system provides two functions. The roots enable the plant to receive the nutrients it needs to grow and it is also the support that the plant will need as it develops. Without a good root system beneath, it will not be able to stand on it's own. The entire process of being a parent is to ready our children for the day they spread their wings and fly.
It's our responsibility as care-givers and parents to instill in them life skills, such as good decision making, self-confidence, taking responsibility for their own actions and even dealing with consequences. Once we have done all we can in preparing them for the outside world then it's time to let them fly.
In giving our children their wings we are actually giving them their freedom to soar. For many of us it's a very difficult time. Letting go, or cutting the apron strings, takes courage and strength, but most of all trust. We cannot constantly offer suggestions and advice as we have to step back and allow them to make decisions on their own. It's time for them to put into practice all the lessons we have taught them; becoming strong and independent of us. Keep in mind that our children will always be our children, just as we will always be their parents. That fact will never change however, the dynamics of our relationship will change.
We are now seeing our children as a whole new identity completely separate from us in that they have become their own person, with thoughts, decisions and even goals that we may not agree with. Letting go doesn't mean our children won't need us anymore. In fact most adult children still crave their parent's attention and approval. The goal is to learn to love their differences and to see your adult child as a whole person.
All the years parenting our children have come to this point. Now that they have spread their wings and left the nest, making life choices and learning to be independent we need to accept that our work is done. Hold on to the knowledge that even though they are flying on their own now, their roots will always bring them home for a good dose of love... and maybe a meal or two!