ADVICE ON ADVISING
There are two types of advice - Solicited and unsolicited. How to give advice primarily depends on which type of advice you are imparting. Both types of advice are good however unsolicited advice tends to be met with a measure of resistance. Often no matter which type of advice you are giving, the important part is the delivery.
Everyone likes to be asked for their opinion or advice as it gives us a feeling of being needed, looked up to and even appreciated. It’s a wonderful way of interacting with each other. Sharing our insights and thoughts through our experiences can build trust and even deepen our relationships with each other.
When being asked for advice, it’s a good practice to show that you appreciate being asked. Remember it’s flattering to be asked. Be sure to stay within the limits of the requested advice. Be confident but not arrogant. It’s also wise to realize your advice may not be taken.
Giving advice it just that, a gift. The receiver will do with it what they like. Don’t get pushy. Speak from experience as it gives your advice validity. After giving your advice ask for feedback, how they feel or what they are thinking. Discussion may follow bringing more possibilities to light. Two heads are better than one right?
Finally, follow up; ask them how things are going, show your concern. In giving advice we have a stake in what we share and whether our advice met with success. Even if our advice wasn’t taken it gives the seeker a good feeling about you and builds confidence in acting on your advice or even approaching you again in the future.
Giving unsolicited advice can be just as effective and beneficial. Using your own personal experiences carries more weight and brings a personal knowledge to your advice. Keep your stories short and to the point. Using the phrases, “How I did it..” or “When it happened to me..” gives your advice a personal feel that will be easily accepted over direct advice.
There are often times in life where we feel driven to give advice whether it’s been asked for or not. Be mindful oF your approach and your delivery and you may find your advice is appreciated if not taken.