ROUTINES N' PARENTING
It’s never too late to begin a routine. It’s really one of the most important things to establish early in a child’s life. Having a routine in place gives the child a sense of security. Children don’t measure time in minutes and hours – instead by events that happen around them. With consistency of events the same time everyday a child begins to understand the world around them finding comfort knowing what comes next. When there is no routine children can become confused and irritable not knowing what to expect. However when a child learns a routine, it’s a boost to their confidence and gives them a clearer understanding of the world around them.
A young child’s mind is undergoing incredible development. Regular routines in place will enable your child to understand concepts like “before and after”. It teaches them self-control in that they know what’s coming and therefore learn patience. Doing the same activities on a regular organized time schedule also teaches children responsibility and independence. For example, when it’s play time they will more willingly look forward to the tasks ahead even knowing that clean-up time follows play time. This teaches them the independence in that they have choices in what they want to play with yet responsibility in learning often one activity leads into another such as clean-up time. Repetition is a wonderful tool to use in teaching your child what’s expected of them and what they can expect to accomplish in a given time period.
You can set aside times when your child can choose what activities they would like to do and how long that set time will last. Here you can incorporate chores and other jobs that are not so much fun for them, teaching them again how often what we like to do follows something we don’t like as much but is a very important of developing organizational skills at a very young age.
Having a routine in place is especially important during the difficult times such as brushing teeth before bed and bedtime itself. With all routines come expectations leaving little room for argument as it’s well established and they begin to know the process and actually begin to take it for granted.
A major benefit to having a routine in place is relieving you of much unnecessary stress with fewer arguments. Everyone in the family will soon eagerly follow the routines you set knowing what’s expected of them. Just having expectations teaches them responsibility and security in their lives.
I realize our lives are busy and our demands change from day to day with our hectic schedules making the task seem impossible at times. Begin with something simple and include more routines as you go along.
A few simple suggestions are family times and meal times. Turn off the TV, phones and computers focusing on the time spent together. Share your thoughts and ideas of what the day will hold or what events happened during the day. It’s a time of sharing and connecting with the family that gives your child that secure feeling. This time of day can also teach co-operation by having the children set the table and then help clear the table after.
Regular bedtime rituals are a great idea and a good way to prepare them for a restorative sleep. Read them a story or give them a bath before bed helps them to settle down from the day’s activities. This routine should always be done in the same order. Getting pajamas on, brushing teeth leads to cuddling in bed over a story read by mom or dad. Make this time of day a ritual - by encouraging your child to tell you all about their day. Prompt them when they forget something. Everything you do with your children teaches them something. Asking them to recall the day’s events not only helps develop memory skills, their speech and time orientation, but also gives them the good feeling that we care about them and that what they have to say is important to us.
Draw pictures indicating your set routines. Place the pictures in order and hang the finished product in their room where they can easily see what comes next. This builds creativity in your child’s mind and promotes a measure of self-sufficiency in that without asking they can see what comes next by the pictures you've drawn together.
Routines are a good practice however there is always room for adjustments and minor changes depending on events your family may be involved in. When a routine does changes explain why this day will be different from the usual so they begin to understand life is not always cut and dry. Do not change the entire day’s routine, starting small and explaining that tomorrow we will go back to our regular routine. Modelling a calm attitude when changes occur shows your child that when things aren't the way they are used to, they can calmly adjust when necessary.
Try out different routines finding the one that suits your family best. Nothing is written in stone and can be adjusted to suit everyone’s needs. Asking for input from your children will often bring out new ideas and give them a sense of importance in contributing to the family's plan. In time as your child grows they will soon learn to set some of their own routines as they learn to organize their time creatively. These are simple life skills that we as parents have the privilege to teach our children to become efficient productive adults someday.